This article explores midlife as a time during which the conditions emerge for deep and powerful inner change and growth. It explores th eart and science of making a healthy midlife transition.
Part 1

The common notion of "midlife crisis" refers to the feelings of stress, chaos and disequilibrium that typically accompany this special stage in our lives.

The turmoil of midlife usually enters into our consciousness as anxiety over who we are.

It is better to think of midlife as a psychological and spiritual time rather than a biological one. It’s a time of remarkable opportunities for personal growth—if we know how to recognize and negotiate them.

Our deepest possibilities for growth often emerge during times of psychological and spiritual confusion.

The Key to Growth at Midlife

The key to transforming midlife turmoil into opportunities to deepen our lives is to understand that midlife is not a crisis at all—it’s a crossroads.

It’s a crossroads for the soul—one that is too often misunderstood and unacknowledged.

During adolescence we go through a development change called puberty, a change that’s clearly recognized because it’s physical and so visible.

At midlife we go through an even more powerful developmental stage, but it’s primarily an inner one. Because the essence of this stage isn’t visible, it often escapes our notice.

At midlife our soul thrusts an important question at us: Will we come home to our innermost identity, to our Heart, and live the second half of our lives as the real thing? Or will we stay identified with our conditioned identity and continue living life as if it were a dress rehearsal?

The fact is that midlife chaos is a symbol of our soul’s efforts to liberate us from a surface identity that’s too small for who we truly are.

During midlife we encounter a natural movement from within ourselves to leave our surface identity for our innermost identity—the Heart.

This movement often meets with strong resistance from internal forces that naturally seek safety by maintaining the status quo.

These forces need to be educated to see the big picture so they can become allies in helping us to grow and Craft the Good Life. If they win, we lose—big time.

Midlife changes require us to leave known for foreign territory.

Deep Change Brings Doubt and Fear

This journey throws us into changes filled with doubt and fear. These changes involve experiences of turmoil and inner stretching that, if negotiated properly, can yield something of lasting value.

It’s as if our identity loses its solid ground while we are in movement between different possibilities within ourselves.

During midlife confusion we occupy a psychological location that is like being on a suspension bridge. Any emotional upheaval is like a strong wind that can leave us feeling out of control as the familiar images that have defined us in the past no longer seem fixed, stable and reliable.

If we resist change and rigidly hold on to our old self-image, we run the risk of living the second half of our lives confined to an identity that has trouble taking advantage of life's deeper opportunities.

We can then develop a kind of chronic dread about having to face growing old and inevitably having to die. This dread steals life’s bright colors and makes it something that we merely endure rather than live with any vibrancy or passion. This is the road of no growth and what I call the “not-such-a-good-life.”

How Our Soul Signals Us at Midlife

Many of us enter midlife with well established patterns of identity. Our work and family life have become predictable sources of externally based identity and enjoyment.

Then all of a sudden we can begin to feel depleted and out of sorts. What we have worked hard for, and what we have valued, begins to seem lacking in some vague way.

Our lives begin to feel like a drama that someone else has arranged. We lose energy for what we do every day. It becomes repetitive and boring. Even our most prized possessions may all of a sudden appear to be just "things" that no longer mean very much to us.

It can almost feel as if we have lost something that we then struggle to get back. But typically that doesn’t work. We can find ourselves stressed out as the old wounds in our self-image begin to feel very sore again.

As a kind of panic sets in, we might find our connections to people in our family and work lives feel strained. We begin to question everything that seems to have a hold on our time and energy. And we can feel a strong appetite for freedom.

Midlife is a time when the old images that we had come to rely upon for self definition no longer seem to work well. But, as yet, there are no new images on the scene that could provide us with a clear sense of identity.

As a consequence, our experience of ourselves, of the "I" or "me" that we tend to identify with can become uneasy and indefinite.

It is a little like discovering that the solid ground that we were standing on is actually a large turtle's back that is moving. What results is a subtle sense of stressful panic as we lose our balance and the certainty of who we are.

We’ll continue exploring the fascinating territory of midlife in part two of this two part series.

About the Author

Dr. Jim Manganiello is a depth psychologist, author, Master Coach, teacher and meditation instructor. He works with people who want to craft their life into a work of art that can be well lived, loved and understood. Jim is the creator of the remarkable 4 Part Crafting the Good Life Course, featuring the Good Life Process™, a powerful life enhancement practice: now available on his web site: www.craftingthegoodlife.com. Get a FREE e-book with Step 1 of the Process when you sign up for Jim's Newsletter.